A Message To Young Women From A Career Woman

Another child’s life ruined by the parent, just like the other thread with the “transgendered” 6 year old.

Every Wednesday, the second hour of my national radio show is the “Male/Female Hour.” A few weeks ago, a woman named Jennifer called in. For reasons of space, I have somewhat shortened her comments. Every young woman should read them. This is precisely what she said:

"Dennis, I want to get right to it. I’m 50 years old with four college degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother with no father in the home. My mother told me get an education to the maximum level so that you can get out in the world, make a lot of money. And that’s the path I followed. I make adequate money. I don’t make a ton of money. But I do make enough to support my own household.

"I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you’re working to compete in the world, and what you’re doing is competing with men. Men don’t like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.

“And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can’t get off that track, because now you’ve got to make the money to pay your bills. It’s hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It’s not the same as it was in your 20s. You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling. I have cats and dogs. But it’s lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don’t do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs. I don’t want other women to do what I have done.”

I asked, “Was it hard for you to make this call?”

She responded: "It was. I want to be anonymous because I don’t want people that I know to really know my true feelings. Because you do act like ‘My career is everything. I love working.’ But it’s a lie on the inside for me. It’s unfortunate. I didn’t realize this until it’s too late. I don’t know if it’s too late. I would like to find somebody to go on vacation with.

"You have other concerns when you get older and you live alone. Who’s going to take you to your medical appointments? If something should happen to you, there’s no other income there to help you. These are things you don’t understand when you’re in your 20s because you don’t think you’ll ever get old and have health problems.

"I’m stuck now because I go to work every day. I smile like I love it, but it’s very painful to not plan a vacation with someone. It’s painful to not have a Thanksgiving dinner with someone. You sit home alone and you do nothing. I avoid my friends now that have children because I have nothing in common with them.

"Somebody asked me the other day, ‘Why did you stay single and never have kids?’ There’s answers: Because I was brainwashed by my mother into this. But it’s hard and it’s shameful to tell people, ‘I don’t know. I ran out of time.’

"There’s not a good answer for it except ‘I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men and make money.’ Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband — my father.

"She tried to steer me on what she thought was the right path, but feminism is a lie. That’s what I want women to know.

“I didn’t realize this until late in life. I want to tell women: Find someone in your 20s. That’s when you’re still very cute. That’s when you’re still amiable to working out problems with someone. It’s harder in your 50s, when you’ve lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you’re so used to being alone. It’s hard to undo that, so don’t do what I did. Find someone in your 20s.”

I said, “I’m thinking of transcribing your call and making it a column.”

“Do that, Dennis. I want to help whoever I can,” she said.

That’s a good perspective from someone you rarely hear from let alone talk about…specially from single career women.

Kudos for this woman for speaking out.

… under anonymity. Im sure her voice will be suppressed when really speaks out.

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Isn’t that the truth…death threats and harassment will sure to follow.

As it is happening right now. They are anti-sexist and pro-Isreal until a Jewish woman speaks out, then she is banned.

Libs try to disseminate the narrative that Sharia is just how to dress and cook.

I think this woman knows better.

And I want to add that I am not anti-Islam.

Just like with everything they do, that:

  • Gun control is about gun safety and not about control
  • Gender wage gap is about equality and not about quota-enforced hiring and undeserved waged bump
  • Female empowering (like this article) is about equality and not about the destruction of the family

All in all, she could have made a good wife to a wonderful household, but now she is just withering away at her 9to5 jobs to make that sweet money to which shes seeing diminishing returns. I have some aunts in the extended family that choose to live this way of empowerment. Now every sentence they speak is laced with a subtle bitterness and jealousy when speaking about others. A true happiness drain, when they are themselves emotional blackholes that material things cannot fulfill anymore.

You will have the ones that recognize their errs; and you’ll have ones that double down on their miserable ways of lives by virtue signaling. And youll have ones that adopt a foreign husband, often time in dire needs of money, resources, or a green card. Here is one that discusses her marriage like a political statement:

Foreigners truly do the jobs the natives wont.

“Jennifer” has some valid points.

However, anyone trying to find a partner at 49 is probably not looking at someone to make babies with her.

And the assumption here is that all relationships in the 20s are constructive & lead to a lifetime of happiness and family.

Some do.

Others don’t.

Perhaps more pragmatic advice for young women would be to ask which one they prioritize more—family or career?

Then make choices accordingly.

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I see her point though. When in your 20’s you are a lot more flexible in a relationship and can learn to grow together. It is not so easy to do that when in your 40’s

Wow, good for her!

She is spot on in a lot of the thing she said.

It’s a shame her mother had to project her life story on one that had yet to be written.

I wish we had a society that placed higher value on stay at home mom’s. I’d love to see neighborhoods filled with a parent at home and kids being able to play outside with lots of watchful eyes on them.

I think, in a sense, this is just another woman miserable with her life & blaming others for that.

It’s my feminist single mother’s fault encouraging me to get educated.

No, baby, getting educated doesn’t necessarily mean four graduate degrees.

It’s feminists’ fault.

Look at all my friends & all the happiness they’re having.

How exactly is it she knows what goes on behind closed doors?

Some marriages are companionships & contentment. Others just aren’t.

Some marriages produce children. Others just don’t.

As someone in the medical field, not all or even a majority who seek help for infertility are in their late 30s or in their 40s.

This woman is looking on the outside at the happiness others may or may not have & blaming her predecessors for her misery.

Can’t take her too seriously.

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“I wish we had a society that placed more value in stay at home moms.”

Not me. Mine was neurotic.

I think everyone should develop some skills for those worst case scenarios where someone just has to put food on the table because the other can’t.

Stay af home dads tend to have that Plan B, whereas stay at home moms sometimes get caught off guard & need to come up with a plan for scenarios from husband’s loss of job to death.

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The story is kind of sad, but on the hand, we don’t know much about this woman

she is basing her decision from what Ive read on looks and faulty information, while her feminist mother fed her some bull shit , the bottom line is she made the decision about her life…

4 degrees and receiving “adequate” income, something is wrong there.

She has friends that she chose to ignore because they have kids, well this woman doesn’t sound like a true friend.

There are no guarantees in life, as there is no such thing as a perfect life, what makes her think if she chose the path to have a family that it would have ended up a better life?

There are many women with families in the beginning only to find when they hit the age where the kids are out of the house that the husband ends up leaving the wife as he was miserable during the marriage and only stayed for the kids.

And what then? she ends up alone and bitter and adopting cats, there is no guarantees in life.

I think she could easily join a gym, social clubs to actually meet older people who are established and is looking to expand their social circles, today its easier to meet people as there are so many social events compared to 20 years ago where you only met people at a bar, singles dance, church, grocery store or friends.

I get her message but everyone is different.

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“…what makes her think if she chose the path to have a family she’d have a better life?”

I remember the therapist who wrote “When Living Hurts” talking about how some of his loneliest patients were married.

Some of the women who went through college with me are married to the spouses they met & had one or more children with in their 20s.

Others have had 3 last names… the one on their birth certificate; their first husband’s last name; & that of the second. Someone found companionship after the marriage failure or widowhood.

As for her mom, what mother wants her daughter to repeat her mistakes? Or to live a life with the same or less opportunity than she had?

Sounds like someone made her own choices; doesn’t like the results; & can’t look in the mirror.

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This is an actual TIme Mag cover:

time-have-a-masters-degree-16-years-of-experience-work-36231640

:joy:

Maybe she’s working the extra jobs to pay off the student loans.

I’m pretty sure plasma centers no longer accept donations for payment since HIV came on the scene.

And how does she explain those teachers who aren’t working two jobs? Or save money & take summers off? Or teach during the year & maybe do something like teach swimming lessons in the summer?

Feh! Poor little thing.:violin:

She chose to get into teaching & doesn’t like the results.

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what was her masters degree in? that is the question, if her masters was in transgendered studies, well there how many courses are there that one can teach in transgendered studies?

Great teachers are in demand, mediocre and crap teachers are not.

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Define “normal”.

You’ll get no argument from me on that, JKM. My mantra was plan for the worse. The worse happened and and I was prepared.

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Define “normal”.

Not forever whining about no one encouraging to pursue college & not having a degree.