I stopped going to the gym because of Trump. Now I can't open jars


#1

Read it and Weep.

Brigid_Delaney%2C_L

It was November 2016 and the only person I knew who believed Trump would win the US election was the owner of my gym. This was clearly a ridiculous prediction so, seeing the chance for some easy money, I offered to bet him $100 that Hillary would win.

But the gym owner, clearly not wanting to do his dough, pointed at this horrible thing in the corner with the name “sled” and said: “If Trump wins you have to pull 70kg on it.”

It was double what I could usually pull. And, if I won the bet, the gym owner would pull double his personal best.

I didn’t want Trump to win – he’d grabbed women by the pussy and mocked a reporter’s disability. He’d promised to build a wall and called Mexicans “rapists”. The thought of his presidency was frightening but so was pulling the sled. What if I herniated a disc?

After Trump claimed victory, I went up to the gym in a foul mood. “Just fucking load up the fucking sled, all right, and let’s get it over with,” I said without much grace as I strapped a belt around my waist.

I pulled the sled like a human oxen while being filmed and the gym staff cheered. I did it. But the Trump victory soured my successful show of strength.

Yeah, I could pull a pretend sled. But how was that going to help me when the world had been destroyed by nuclear weapons or climate change?

Hungry and sore, I repaired to a restaurant down the road that I had never visited and where I had never seen anyone come or go from. The silent restaurant – no background music, no other diners – seemed like the perfect place to welcome the end of the global liberal order.

What new political order had been born tonight?

An elderly waiter appeared and handed me a menu. Most things on it were not available. The one dish that was was unspeakably awful and the colour and texture of cement.

I never went back. But I also didn’t return to the gym. I associated it now with Donald Trump, the bad meal and pulling the sled.

It was 9 November 2016 and my thinking about fitness changed almost overnight. In tune with the times, it became more Trump, less Obama.

In the spirit of the Donald, I drank more bottles of Diet Coke and ate more McDonald’s. I dropped the gym – embracing Trump’s belief that we are given a certain amount of energy and if we use it then we are depleting a finite resource.

According to the book Trump Revealed: “Trump believed the human body was like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted. So he didn’t work out. When he learned that John O’Donnell, one of his top casino executives, was training for an Ironman triathlon, he admonished him, ‘You are going to die young because of this.’”

I didn’t want to die young, so I didn’t go to the gym.

Trump explained his exercise routine like this to Reuters: “I get exercise. I mean I walk, I this, I that. I run over to a building next door. I get more exercise than people think.”

I walked. I this. I that. Months passed. Then a year. Trump was going to be in power for another 1,000 years. Or at least that’s what it felt like. Could I really avoid the gym for the entirety of his presidency?

I missed being strong enough to open jars and carry groceries. So, last week, I returned to the gym, slinking back in as if no time had passed. I hoped that by wearing a puffy jacket and MC Hammer pants I could hide my lack of definition – that I could pretend I had maintained my fitness on my own. At home, running to the building next door. On the couch. While tweeting.

But you can’t hide fitness. You either have it or you don’t. You can either lift the dumbbell or you can wobble on your fifth rep and drop the load.

You are either strong or you are weak. And I was weak.

When I started my gym program again last week, I started at the beginning. I started on the simplest machines and with the lowest amount of weight. I did a split squat on a box and fell over from a lack of balance. I got vertigo doing calf lifts. My knees clicked.

The next day I woke up feeling like a human ironing board. Sitting down became impossible. I had to sort of fall on to chairs because there was no “bend” available in my legs. And typing this is agony – my arms hurt. There’s no strength in my wrists.

The cruellest thing about fitness is that it doesn’t last. It should be the rule that you only need to get fit once. And once you get there, you stay there.

I was fit in 2016, before Trump. But when you stop, it goes. And it goes quickly. A week or two and you have to start again with the 2kg dumbbells and the tremor in your forearms.

I returned again this week – to the boredom and pain of the gym – trying to build up back to the strength I had before Trump became president.

The struggle is Sisyphean.

• Brigid Delaney is a Guardian Australia writer and columnist


#2

Typical left wing nitwit blaming her own failures on Donald Trump. What a stupid “ass a nine” idiot!

I have a three year old Doberman bitch with more sense than that one.


#3

That’s because with a face like that she can’t keep a man around long enough to do it for her!


#4

This is what spears us patriots, a few vitriolic comments from otherwise solid citizens. We need that sharpness and the blunt instrument of your ire with mouth pieces like maxine Waters and Pelosi. But this unknown just posted a well written (albeit snowflakery) article. Now you’re just fighting another person’s fire with your own and this woman get’s to be the recipient. Not cool.

We, the true Americans are better than that. Nothing that was said in this article deserves this kind of BS. It makes the rest of us look like Neanderthals. She’s a snowflake - why bring out The flamethrowers? Pick your battles my brothers. Speak to women the way you would want your mother spoken to. When they reveal a more sinister aspect of their ignorance, unload both barrels, I’ll bring extra ammo.

I have to say she has balls to post a GYM article lamenting the election like this. IT’s kind of laughable, but I’ll give her some props for bucking up and even coming here. Brave or ignorant? We may never know, and a I don’t really care.

THIS is a definition of a liberal debater. NOT a conservative.
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#5

This is the mentality of leftism embodied: a bottomless pit of desire and entitlement wrapped up in a childish view of what ought to be.


#6

We can only hope she’s working on her mental fitness as well. If she sticks with it she just might make it to conservative one day. Funny thing about mental fitness, it tends to last. It USE to be the rule that you only needed to go through school ONCE to get mentally fit…not so much nowadays;.maybe she should have stayed there once she got there; it just didn’t take apparently.


#7

Well written? Your standards for literary composition must be low.

She doesn’t know that Trump’s locker room talk was ever acted out. He did promise to build a wall, but he didn’t call all Mexicans rapists. Trump did not mock the disabled reporter. He has never seen the reporter flail his arms like that because 1) he hadn’t ever seen the reporter…and 2) the reporter cannot move like that. Trump has used the flailing arms gesture to mimic frustrated people (including himself) in the past.

If she had herniated a disk, it would still be her own fault.

Her anecdote about the unknown, empty, poor quality restaurant reeks of fabrication.

Her blaming of her own reluctance to return to the gym on Trump is completely puerile.

The she goes into a spiel about taking Trump’s advice regarding physical training…as if this gives more credence to her blaming him for her own poor condition.

True, the story is cute, but I perceive it to be almost entirely fictional and designed only to blame Hillary’s loss and Donald’s victory for her own stupid behavior…not to mention the attempts to denigrate President Trump for things he did not do.

She’s doing nothing other than playing the victim role.


#8

By well-written I meant “civil enough” but looking at it now - it seems questionable as well. So…

I think my mistake at the beginning was thinking that the author of the article was also a member here. SO you weren’t “personally” attacking them. I apologize for trying to be the patriot police.

I just want to be perfectly CLEAR about what I say to the Leftists and I’ve learned when I lead with an insult, the rest just get’s ignored, probably not even read. Not only that - they are Litigious MoFos. Fuck’em…If these BRATS don’t start listening to their Daddy Don and STIFLE the treachery, deceit, and outright sedition against our government they are going to get a the backhand.

But still, I’m too old to incite violence because you need to back that shit up. I just don’t want to deal with hackers and Doxxers either. But I’ll never disengage. I like to keep the pencil sharp, I’ve only converted five of the Democrat people I’ve known a long time…but trickles turn into oceans as they say.


#9

Not flaming, just pity.


#10

I certainly thought your stuff was civil enough…but Jumpin-Jehosaphat it was full of stuff that has already been debunked…just lie seeding honestly and working out? Pretty weird topic to go political on but okay. Not my thing.

To be an effect writer, It does require surrounding yourself with people that DON’T think exactly like you occasionally, but it pays dividends to listen. You either learn something or you get better light on the terrain in which you deployed yourself and can maneuver more effectively. So either way you LEARN something.

Echo Chambers are just that and no matter how crucial or imperative your message is, no matter how it’s presented or garnished, it won’t get out. That’s the one thing that saddens me the most about our democratic brothers and sisters.

You (collectively) are not blind, perse, I think you can see just fine. But it’s like someone snuck up on all of you and put a VR Rig on your head. What you think is real is being manufactured. Period. The Democratic party is feeding on itself and the good people over there are barely holding it together before it slides down the Socialist rabbit hole. That’s why we abandoned ship in 2016.(my wife and I) I urge you to do the same

Everything I thought was GOOD about the Democratic Party is actually over HERE on the RIGHT and if you don’t think it’s a diverse, charitable bunch, then you really do need to hit the streets and take that contraption off of your head…but I digress.

I applaud you coming into the Lion’s den as it were. Good on you! <3 We’re all pretty pissed but some of us leave the bullhorn outside., and I will always defend original thought, I hope that’s what I’ve written here for you. God Bless America!


#11

Gaslighting at its finest. Im not sure what part of posting an article in the “Longue” section constitutes “bullying” and “liberal debating”.


#12

Whoa Nelly! You’re the one posting in LOUNGE a thinly veiled political diatribe that attempts to create a whole new metaphor for working out…feebly. You, ma’am were on the tip top of that ladder lighting that gaslamp all by yourself.

So we’ve seen the parroting, the echoing, the staccato of all points made and debunked that you could cram into your soliloquy. We get that it’s the dopamine you crave hence the working out and posting about it politically. But I wonder, is there any original thought under that VR Rig you’ve been wearing?


#13

A woman blaming her bad life choices on an foreign election? It belongs under “longue”, since it doesnt have any political values for anyone.

And then there is you, complaining about echo chamber under this very “Longue” thread. I just find it amusing, thats all.


#14

Yep… it’s getting harder and harder to get up on that old soap box… much less maintain balance…:joy:


#15

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#16


#17

LOL:smile: funny stuff. Breaking someone else’s pencil = hacking


#18

OMG Superhey!! I thought YOU were Brigid Delaney …I’ve been directing my distaste for the writer at YOU. I am so sorry and I am glad that at one point your were amused. I’m just going to slowly back out of the room and go hide for 2 weeks. maybe no one will recognize me when I get back. Again I apologize for my ignorance


#19

A perfect assessment of the left. Well done indeed!


#20

I don’t think you should feel too bad; mistakes happen, eh? :wink:

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